Changing Negative Thought Patterns

Experiencing a life full of different types of events, which can be negative at times, can be demanding and also make life a difficult journey of ups and downs.

A life facing difficult situations requires each one of us to equip ourselves with powers and strengths and not only spiritual wisdom, which is found so much all over the world. You can read spiritual knowledge telling you how to face difficult situations for many years together and yet not be strong enough to face them when they actually come. Spiritual knowledge shows us the path to becoming powerful. But the actual spiritual power to change one’s own thinking and the sanskaras which are the source of this thinking will come with strengthening the mind with powerful thoughts and experiences. 

There is no substitute for correct thinking when there is a difficult situation in front of you. You think negatively but try to act according to the spiritual knowledge you have read.  That will not make you successful in overcoming the situation. Also, your inner habits of creating thoughts of fear, pessimism, hopelessness and impatience will not reduce, although you may temporarily feel positive based on what you have read or learnt. Inner habits are very deep which have been inside the inner spiritual being or soul since many many births. Each time we have performed a negative action or created a negative thought, a sanskara was created based on that thought, word or action. And that sanskara then caused a similar thought to be created by me and action being committed, again strengthening the sanskara. This is the cycle of repetition. And this cycle keeps having a more and more powerful negative influence on us the more times it is repeated. We need to now change these negative cycles into positive ones. How do we that? We will explain that in tomorrow’s message.

To create positive sanskaras, we need to first take the foremost step of determination. Determination means a strong promise to the self that I will change my thought patterns from negative to positive. That is the first realization. Then, we need to select one particular sanskara of weakness that disturbs us and does not let us be powerful. For e.g. if I have the habit of being impatient in difficult situations, then first I need to fill myself with that quality through self-effort. Until I do that, no matter how much I may try to be patient in any situation, because I am lacking the quality at the level of the sanskara and since the weakness has not been erased completely, it will be difficult for me to be patient. Let’s say on a particular day, I am faced with a traffic jam. If I say to myself that all these vehicles on my way should get cleared in the next five minutes, but they take half an hour, will I be able to remain calm in those extra twenty five minutes, which I did not anticipate or expect? So, what I require is patience. If I say to myself, in those twenty five minutes that I have to be patient, will I experience that virtue? I will not unless that virtue is in my sanskara or part of my personality. So, it is like filling myself with a lot of happiness and then I will experience that quality. I cannot say to myself – I am the happiest person who exists in this world and experience happiness alone. I need to first fill myself with that quality and then happiness will come naturally to me.

So it’s about being natural and not theoretical alone i.e. I should be an embodiment or a practical form of every quality and power and not just repeat inside my mind that I have that quality or power. This applies to all the different qualities and powers which are required in crossing negative situations or circumstances. Meditation fills us with these qualities and powers very easily. This is because meditation is a beautiful relationship and connection with the Supreme Source of spiritual energy and power – God. God is full of those qualities and powers and never loses them ever, unlike us, who need to fill ourselves when we lose them.  

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The Journey of Purpose

All of us, at some point of time, in fact almost right through our life, keep different types of long term or short term goals – personal goals, professional, financial, social, relationship goals; goals related to physical well being and health, spiritual goals etc.  Sometimes we are not even aware ourselves, but we are passing through the journey of life with some purpose or the other at all times, the purpose may be a higher purpose or something connected to our day-to-day living.

Whatever actions we perform then, our aimed at fulfilling this purpose. Also these actions are full of lots of expectations, the expectations of achieving some results. These results which we desire or expect arrive at times and sometimes they don’t. If they don’t, which is a very common aspect of any such journey of purpose; they generate emotions of worry inside us. Even if the results are achieved, the nature of journey, prior to those results is stressful as compared to a journey which is purpose filled but expectation free, which some might argue is not possible. Worry and stress not only harm the spiritual and emotional self but even our physical body and relationships, making the journey difficult and tiring. It is not incorrect to be action oriented and having some clear objectives in progressing towards our purpose, but we need to be capable of aiming ourselves at our dreams without becoming date conscious and the expectation of them being fulfilled now, or on a specific date, in a particular way or form. If not, we live in a tomorrow consciousness and tend to get upset or discouraged easily and we don’t enjoy today. It is not incorrect to be happy when we achieve something, but if our happiness is dependent on our achievements, we will always delay it. Happiness is not later, it is always now. It is commonly said – * Happiness is a journey, not a destination.  Here we say – * Happiness is not only in reaching your purpose, your destination, but also in the journey of purpose. Also, it’s important to note that a carefree and detached intellect will always attract positive circumstances which serve as bridges in reaching one’s purpose, much more, as compared to a worried intellect.

Overcoming Anger

We are all living a life from morning till night, where we face situations where anger is a common and most easiest response we choose. Once a doctor was meeting a patient in his clinic and asked her that how many times do you become angry in a day? She replied that I have never counted but I think not a single day passes when I do not get angry and loose my temper at my husband and my children and the maid and even the shopkeeper. The doctor replied that have you ever wondered what goes on inside you after every bout of anger? Every second of anger or anger related emotions causes the secretion of negative chemicals and negative hormones inside the body. This is constantly harming the body and causes severe psychosomatic illnesses or illnesses caused by a negative mind, like blood pressure, diabetes, depression, insomnia and even cancer in the body. Also, the positive mood of peace, love and happiness inside our minds, can remain low for many hours, after even a smallest bout of hatred, revenge, aggression and any other toxic and negative behavior. We give you 5 keys to overcome anger in this message:

1. Don’t Try To Change What You Can’t Change – Very often we try and change scenes in our life, which are beyond our control. Scenes of life including different situations and behaviors of people, which are not as per our desire, make us react negatively and with emotions full of anger. When we cannot change a scene, we feel frustrated and feel things are out of our control. At that point of time, remind yourself that everything cannot go our way and as per our desires in life always. Also, the more we bring about positive change in ourselves, the more the energy of our change will change scenes around us in a positive way. So, instead of wanting that a particular person have a particular quality or a particular situation be more positive, fill yourself with that quality or that positivity and radiate it to your surroundings. This way you will accept and not expect, because expectations are the seed of all anger filled emotions.

2. I Am A Source Of Infinite Peace And Love – Always Remember That – We are all a beautiful source of peace and love, which we can experience all the time and share with others. Also, where there is peace and love, the power to tolerate different types of people and situations is there inside us, which makes it easy for us to remain calm and patient, instead of reacting violently. Hating someone and speaking against someone behind their backs or in front of them is all a reflection of lack of the sweet peace and love which we are full of eternally, but we forget that. Start your day with the following affirmation: I am a being of light, a soul full of peace and love. I visualize my spiritual form, a sparkling star at the centre of the forehead. I radiate this light of sweetness to the world. Repeat this affirmation to yourself many times in a day and slowly the personality of creating angry and violent responses will be changed to sweeter and more humble responses to people and situations.

3. Forgive And Forget – Have you ever spent complete day thinking about another person’s negative actions and giving it different forms in your mind, all of which are not only negative but hurt you internally. Such hurt carried in your heart can become a source of anger at every step and make your mind violent. This type of carried anger can spill out in different situations involving you and other people and not necessarily the person who is the cause of the anger. To forgive and forget requires emotional strength. To respond with love and not react with anger is forgiveness in action. To forgive is to love unconditionally. To forget is to bring benefit to the self, because violence in the mind harms the mind, body and relationships immensely. Only when you forgive, can you forget. To forgive, remember everyone’s original personality is one of sweetness, peace and love and a negative comment or an action of bitterness by someone is a result of an acquired negative sanskara, which is temporary and which the other person is trying to remove.

4. Let Go Of The I Am Right Consciousness – One of the most significant causes of anger filled relationships is the ego that I am right and the other person is wrong. The more the ego, the more the anger. Very often people who are very moody in the family or at the workplace and are always shouting at other people and seeing them as incorrect are the ones who are very egoistic. Also, a very common and negative shade of anger is sarcasm – to comment sarcastically on people’s actions and to always think that what I think and do is the best and only right. On the other hand, the one who sacrifices his or her ego will be very sweet and merciful in interactions, even if the other person has genuinely committed some mistakes. To see others as innocent and not to be over-critical, a very simple practice is to see atleast one specialty in each and every person we meet everyday. This type of positive vision makes us free from anger and even in the most negative of situations we see people positively and not focus on their faults and weaknesses.

5. Remain Stress Free To Become Anger Free – Life is full of many different types of negative situations and twists and turns, which keep us unsettled and stressed at times. Stress is primarily caused by too many whys, whats, whens and hows, which are questions in our minds. The more the mind is full of questions and unsolved problems, the more the mind will react in the form of toxic words and actions. Problems will always exist but our attachment to them and impatience in waiting for them to get solved at the right time and in the right manner leads to anger. Anger in many cases is just a form of bottled up stress, which bursts open from time to time. Meditation and positive thinking as a result of the practice of meditation are some common techniques to resolve stress of the mind. Freedom from anger follows freedom from stress.

The Key to Relaxed Living

To live in freedom you have to live at peace (harmony) with time; live the dimension of time as a creator of time and not a slave of time; live without being either a prisoner or victim of time. To live at peace with time is to live in harmony with nature, beginning with our inner nature. When we plant a sapling today, we cannot accelerate the process so that the next day we have a tree. When it is summer, we cannot make the earth revolve around the sun quicker or slower for winter to arrive before or later. Everything has its rhythm in nature. We have distanced ourselves from the natural rhythm and our accelerated mind exercises pressure, creates stress and causes anxiety. We plan the future, we are stuck in the past and the present escapes us.

Many worries have to do with how we live time: the past, the present and the future. Worrying about what might happen (future), when the moment has not yet come for it to happen, takes away from us the necessary energy to deal with it when it finally arrives. Living in memories drains our energy; the past already happened and no longer exists, except in our memory. We feed memories, not realizing that emerging the memory in our mind distracts us from the present and weakens us. It is like being a plug that connects to a socket with no current passing through. We lose our energy. We want to relive an experience that already happened, and in the end we feel disappointed, feeling a mental and emotional waste.

Not only is our  strength reduced by the way that we live the past and project onto the future, but also how we live in this moment. When, for example, we oppose the present and have resistances, these consume our energy and cause us stress. If we accept the present we can flow flexibly without wasting our energy. Accepting does not mean submitting our self or feeling a victim of what is happening now. From acceptance, we confront and transform. If we learn to live the dimensions of time in a healthy way we will keep up our vitality, we will heal the past and we will feel at peace with it. Accepting the present and trusting in the future helps us to be well.

Accepting the present means stopping comparing ourself with others; we want what the other has, their money, their talents, their beauty, their personality, their achievements, their virtues, etc. So, instead of being grateful for what we have and accepting ourself as we are, we try to have and be like the other. In this way, we are never satisfied. The dissatisfaction causes us a constant unhappiness that reduces our vitality. When we feel happy and satisfied our energy flows more easily. The most important thing that we should do in this moment is to feel content. Therefore, the priority, and what is essential, is that whatever happens in the moment, the most important thing is to be content. So, tell our mind – Oh, mind, be quiet and don’t think so much. Oh, mind, kindly trust that everything is and will be fine. Give our mind the basic instructions and the key thoughts with which to be content. Don’t let our own mind create the thoughts that trap us. It is we ourselves who create our emotional cages.

To live at peace with time is to live it with peace, trust and determination. It is different to living it out of conflict and forcing things. In order to live true freedom of being, we have to make friends with time and stop living stressed in time. We have to trust. Trust that we will arrive on time, that we will do it on time and, if not, that a particular problem will be solved. Don’t let time be a stress factor. When we live stressed because of time, we lose the best of life. We stop living what is essential and important, and we get lost in the details: I have to go here, I have to finish this, I have to call up someone, and endless amounts of – I have to…s – that consume our mental energy and make us get lost in the details of the trivial (ordinary). As well, in hurrying, we lose quality. We can do everything, but without losing what is essential; do it with love, with care, with interest, with enthusiasm, with motivation and with focus. That way every small action that we take will have a greater impact, will be more fulfilling and will bear a more positive fruit.

We choose whether, each morning, we want to get up and begin with watching television, reading the newspaper over a cup of tea, or we want to get up and listen to peaceful music, read a couple of pages of spiritual knowledge that inspire us and we begin the day with enthusiasm and by visualizing it positively: today will be a marvelous day, I shall enjoy it … yes!! Such spiritual practice will give us a feel of time being elastic. In such a consciousness, a minute will seem eternal i.e. time can seem to come to a standstill (if I am surrounded by a positive set of circumstances which are spiritually uplifting) or can seem an instant, i.e. I get a feeling of time passing very fast (if in a negative set of circumstances). Thus, I learn to be a creator of time; living in time without being a slave to it. True freedom lies in being content now. We can be content in the present moment by resolving the inner dialogue that generates stress and conflict in us. When we are content, enjoying ourself and having a good time, we don’t realize how time passes. This means that, if we lived in a state of constant happiness, we wouldn’t realize how time passes. Time would be at our service. We would be the rulers and controllers of time and not the other way round.

Limiting Ourselves In Comfort Zones

We are basically unlimited beings. But we limit ourselves in many comfort zones. We have a lot of conditioning’s which, in reality, are mental.

Some mosquitoes were put in a box and they kept jumping a lot. The box was covered from the top and each time they jumped they hit the top of the box, and when they jumped too close to the right or the left they hit the sides of the box. Slowly, to avoid harming themselves, they learned to jump just under the cover and without reaching the sides of the box. One day all the four sides of the box were opened. The mosquitoes were free, but they kept on jumping as far as the limit they had learned. The physical limits were no longer there. But they had become conditioned mentally. The same thing happens to us. We have to open the sides of the box and take off the top, or we can continue to live inside the box created by our own mind.

Given below are some conditioning’s under which we work, because of which we do not experience complete freedom.

Beliefs, acquired since our childhood, which limit us.
– The negative images of low self esteem that we have created of ourselves.
– The damaging thoughts of doubt, which does not let the highway of trust to build up inside ourselves and does not allow the creative energy of positivity to flow from inside us to the outside.
– The fear of failure or not being to able to succeed completely. A lot of times the fear exists due to past experiences of failure or not having succeeded as much as you would have liked.

We need to become aware of what our pattern of thoughts is, which brings us under the negative influence of mental conditioning’s. When that happens, we will be able to become free of these conditioning’s. While we do not become aware, we will continue to remain under its influence.

Viewing Situations Positively

SpiritualityIf you look at the world around you and judge people based on how they respond to different situations, you will realize and know that there are some people who will look at situations from a negative view point very easily. A view point literally means – viewing from a point a particular scene in your life. Obviously the point of view as we say is different for each person i.e. the point from where someone views a particular scene is different for each person. It’s like a painting on a wall. I can see the same painting by standing at different points and I will see the same painting differently. That is what I mean by perception or the angle of viewing or the point of view. Sometimes one painting of life or scene in life will be seen by ten different people from ten different positions of the mind and they will see it differently or in other words they will react differently. And because we look from different viewpoints or have different perceptions, life for some is like a joyride and for some it can be a roller coaster ride i.e. a ride with ups and downs where you are shaken up and down very often or in other words become unstable emotionally.

When looking at situations, choose the most positive mind position to look at them from. That is the secret key to having a mind space which you own, in which the experience of virtues like happiness, contentment and power exist and express themselves freely. How to choose the best mental position to look at a scene of life or in other words how to have the most positive perception for a situation? This depends on your personality, which the good news is, can be changed. Meditation is the most beautiful technique of connecting yourself internally using the power of visualization to the sweet personality of God and absorbing His virtues. This brings the virtues inside your mind space in the form of good quality thoughts and on the basis of that creating positive perceptions or positive view points when looking at situations.

Situations arise in our lives regularly and even suddenly at times. At those times we are not prepared for them and even the best of people who are generally very positive will at times become disturbed when they look at them. There are people who have haPositive attituded heart attacks or have died of shock when someone close to them died or when suddenly their business went down or when they were told about a serious illness which they were suffering from. So, life can be demanding at times because we are not prepared for situations and at the same time we are not mentally strong enough to face them. So this makes it difficult for us to adjust to the sudden changes in our life and also we are generally attached to a perfect life in which no difficult situations exist. There are people who fear situations not so much because of the actual situation itself but more because of the fact that the situation exists in their life. This is called attachment to a particular lifestyle which we are used to, where everything goes smoothly and a little change in that can disturb us mentally.

Bringing spirituality in our lives is an important way of making our lives firstly free for the fear of situations existing and at the same time becoming aware of why situations arise in our lives and accept them easily and lastly what we can do on a physical and non-physical level i.e. at the level of our words and actions which are physical and at the level of our thoughts which are non-physical to reduce situations in our lives.  Also, the power to face situations fearlessly increases inside us when we have the hand of God to hold on to and when we have a very deep relationship with Him based on a spiritual understanding of who He is actually and how we can connect with Him. The connection becomes easy by experiencing ourselves as a soul or a being of spiritual light which is different from the physical costume we wear which we commonly call the human body.

Feelings of helplessness when faced with difficult situations are something that many people in the world experience. It’s as if life comes to a standstill and you don’t know where to look for help and whom to call out to. Is it so difficult to face situations? Doesn’t God know what we are going through and can’t he be made a part of the situation to cross it. Some say God is a spectator to our problems and he is too far away to hear our voice but is it so? God waits for His help to be taken because you are His spiritual child and you have a right to take His help. Also, God is not very happy if we say that He is insensitive to our troubles. Some people even go the extent of sometimes incorrectly saying that all the happiness and the sorrow in our lives is given by God, which is not true. But, at the same time to get us out of the sorrow is something that even God is always eager to do, but we need to take His help by remaining strong and stable in the negative situation. It is said that one step of courage taken by us brings thousand steps of help from God, who is our Father and taking His help is the first thing that should come in our mind when we are in trouble and not the last as sometimes it happens. We get so over-involved in situations and in thinking how to solve it that we forget that there is someone sitting out there who can be called down by the power of thought and ordered to help us as we would do with our physical father, if we needed his help.

Some people assume that God should help on His own, but there are two pre-conditions to receiving His help – one is courage and the other is remembering Him, which is a way of giving Him respect, who is the Highest of Highest. Remember God is the most humble being that exists. But He will help us when we remember Him much more than if we are disconnected from Him. Taking His help makes it easy for you to face the situation at hand and hence view situations positively.

The Psychosomatic Effects (Effects On The Body) Of Fear

The human being is psychosomatic by nature – what that means is that our health is deeply influenced by our behavior, thoughts, emotions and social relationships. Therefore, in order to experience good health, we should care for our life style, our mental, sentimental, emotional and relational world, as well as our communication. Fear is bad for our health. It manifests itself in the form of anger and promotes coronary diseases. Fear suppressed for a long time ends up producing diseases such as cancer. Apart from cancer and heart attacks, there are other illnesses brought on by fear: addictions, anxiety, arthritis, asthma, irritability, nervous breakdowns, memory loss, gastritis, back pains, baldness, diarrhea, sciatica, crying attacks, alcoholism, constipation, hypertension, cystitis (bladder inflammation), vomiting, palpitations, digestive disorders, ulcers and migraines.

When we get old, our neurons do not die, but rather the connections between them disappear, that is what recent scientific research suggests. The neuronal connections or synapses keep us lively and young. When we have pleasant experiences, such as during meditation or when we are on a holiday or are surrounded by friends or while working in a team, some examples of activities in which we feel happy, the neuronal connections are more fluid. However, the lights go out when we feel fear. It is an emotion that is capable of slowing down and blocking the electrical impulses between the neurons. With fear we are less creative and we get older more quickly. If we do not want to suffer illnesses (or want our illnesses to get worse) we should learn to manage and overcome fear.