Relationships can be defined on the surface as a state in which two or more people are connected, the state of being related or interrelated or if the definition is expanded, the way in which two people, talk to, regard and behave towards each other, and deal with each other. Spirituality sees relationships from a deeper perspective – “relationships are not only what we do or say to each other, but are built on the basis of what we think about each other”. So relationships, when seen from a spiritual view point, are an exchange of energy at the level of thoughts and feelings, and then words and actions thereafter.
Relationships are one of the most important wealth of our lives and one of the most important sources of our happiness. In order to make them successful i.e. to create the wealth of positive relationships and to experience joy through them continuously, it is important to base them on the right belief systems. One major incorrect belief that we carry inside ourselves with regards to our relationships is that relationships are all about behaving and talking in the right manner, because we think people see, know and judge only what we speak and do, they do not sense what we think, and so we don’t give enough significance to our thoughts. But thoughts are more in number and being a more powerful and subtle energy, travel faster than words. When we interact with someone let us take care that along with the right action our thoughts are also right. If we have negative thoughts containing any type of impurity of hatred, greed, jealousy, resentment, selfishness, ego, etc. and we perform pure actions filled with the energy of virtues, neither will we be internally content nor will we be able to satisfy the other person. In all our relationships, it is the intention, the packets of thought energy or vibrations that we transmit, which matter more than the action. Giving significance to the inner intentions while coming into relationships is true transparency in relationships. Performing right actions packaged with thoughts which are colored with negative emotions, will only transmit pain to the other on a subtle level, even though we did it for their happiness.
Husband-wife relationships, sometimes, are like castles of sand, extremely pleasing to the eye, but based on weak foundations and susceptible to destruction when challenged by negative tides of clash of opinions, personalities or lifestyles. In such relationships, the castles look good from outside because of energies like acceptance, trust, understanding and ‘letting go’ existing on the surface i.e. these energies are displayed by both partners to each other in the form of words, gestures and actions but these castles can easily collapse because the foundations of these castles i.e. thoughts and feelings carried by the partners in their minds are filled with expectations, rejection, mistrust, misunderstandings, possessiveness and suspicion at times along with the positive emotions which are displayed in actions. Also both partners feel they have made their respective positive contributions in the relationship and so the same is expected from the other side, which is not fulfilled at times, further increasing the problems in the relationship. At the same time both partners are oblivious (not aware) of the negative emotional, much more powerful forces that exist inside them, which go against the positive contribution and are silently working on the castle of the relationship from below, ready to bring it down anytime.
Another e.g. – in corporate circles, apart from the external objective of profit making and generation of revenue and jobs, an important internal objective of any good corporate organization is creating a peace, love and happiness filled as well as obstacle free atmosphere in the company, which will be conducive (helpful) to the external objective. One spiritual principle states that the leader or CEO or Managing Director of the organization is like a seed of the organization, whose every thought reaches out to and influences every person of the organization as well as the organization as a whole. A second spiritual principle states that the internal ruling and controlling power of a leader of an organization is directly proportional to the handling (of the people of the organization) power of the leader. If in the inner confines (boundaries) of the leader’s mind, obstacles of waste and negative thoughts exist i.e. the inner atmosphere of the leader’s mind is not full of peace, love and joy, then as per the first spiritual principle, this gets transmitted to the people under the leader and as per the second spiritual principle, such a leader who is lacking in mind ruling power and mind controlling power is automatically lacking in handling power of people under him. Such a leader, due to the application of both these principles, is ineffective in creating a positive environment in the organization.
Parent-child relationships are the foundation of our complete life. The earliest habits that children acquire in their lives are from their parents. Very often parents try and impose positive habits on their children. A very common trend that we see nowadays where parents will scold their child for common negative actions like getting angry, for lying to them, for watching inappropriate stuff on different mediums of technology like television and the internet or for getting involved in relationships with the opposite gender at a young age. Very commonly parents are not satisfied with the change brought about by children by following the rules that they have set for them, causing parent-child relationships to get strained. Why is it that inspite of children knowing that parents are concerned for them, do not pay heed to their instructions and continue with the negative habits? A more powerful medium than words, which reaches children on a physical level, is the personality radiation of the parents which works on children and reaches them faster than and much before the words do. Parents dictate the change but don’t be the change i.e. similar habits of lust, anger, ego, greed, etc. exist inside them which keep traveling to the children on a subtle energy level and impacting (influencing) their minds negatively much sooner than positive words in the form of instructions, leaving the words as good as ineffective.
Also considering another common relationship that children have, the one with their school teachers; many investigations confirm that teachers’ expectations, whether negative or positive, form one of the most influential factors in the academic performance of their students. If teachers expect good results from their students and have complete faith and confidence that they will succeed, their performance will be much closer to their real capacity than if they are expecting poor results. Very often in schools, the teachers’ words regarding the performance of the children are not a direct reflection of their thoughts i.e. words are full of faith and hope in the students’ success but thoughts are lacking in optimism with regards to the same. Negative thoughts of fear of probable failure of the children, in the minds of teachers, in-spite of positive words of encouragement, negatively impact impressionable minds of children leading to their poor show in school exams.
Vibrations are much stronger than our wordings. If we have good thoughts for anyone but by mistake we say something wrong, relationship will be strong and smooth but if we have negative thoughts for anyone and we try to become loving, caring & try to show good relationship with that personality but actually relationship is not strong and it is from upper end only.